Wednesday, April 29, 2009

ain't no sunshine when she is gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
anytime she goes away.

once again the annual ‘distancing of selves’ happened yesterday when I saw off my sweet wifey… she went away to her parents’ for a month and it actually hurt seeing her go! Maybe coz I had just returned from my two month long ‘stint’ in the UK.

A lot of smart and experienced people have told me, the distancing of selves in a close relationship is very important for both the people involved to better understand and appreciate each other along with knowing your own self.

Hmm, so what more do I need to know about me that I didn’t catch in the past almost 30years? Did I accidentally or intentionally stop talking to myself? Did I cease diving inside my head and getting lost into my thoughts? Humph, maybe…

Thankfully, this time around the not so new job in the new company and the transition of the processes is taking up so much of my conscious time that I hardly notice or acknowledge the passing hours, days and now weeks… since everyone who still has a job cribs and complains about the dwindling market conditions and the uncertainty of the job market globally, I’ve decided that I am not going to join the crib gang or take any stupid hasty decision like quitting my last job on a day’s notice…

This time I will hopefully take it easy, try and manage two different teams… though I am getting methodically drawn and quartered in a very gradual process at the office by my bumbling team of newbies and some really rusted oldies :-) I like it in here since it is still new…

Thanks that the wifey has decided to go away for a month so that I can invest this time in the office and update blogs like these at an ungodly hour of midnight (especially when my day started at 10 in the morning) I do miss her…

I think about her almost all the time… just when I wakeup, thinking that she looks pretty when we wakeup together and smile at each other thanking god for one more day of togetherness and love…

While having my breakfast I wonder if she would’ve had eaten or not?!! Wondering if she will be taking her vitamins…

During the tough times at work when I realize that she will not be waiting for me when I go back home all tired and battered in the evening…

During the long and mindlessly dragging meetings I happily slide in my day dreams about us…

Dreaming about her in my sleep and then the whole cycle starts again the next morning as soon as I wake up :-)

This year I will not complain, crib, or stay cross at my wifey going away… instead, I am going to cherish, relish and treasure this amazingly special relationship that I have with one of the most wonderful souls on this planet.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

wishful thinking?!!

From 14 hour workdays to 12 hour and then again to the same 14hour day grind! Sometimes a tired mind would venture to wander a bit and wonder, “is this all really worth it”?

Titles change, people change, surroundings change and even the goddamned ‘work culture’ changes! But you realize that the grind is still as tiring as always and the politics are as murky as every…

Someone asked me a few weekends ago… LJ what would be your dream job? Honestly I was caught unprepared and I started fumbling with my answer; I started by saying how I always loved writing poetry and prose, then moved on my love towards music and thinking about ‘RJ’ing or ‘VJ’ing… for a while I also talked about becoming an international travel show host! (Anybody out there listening???) then settled to one of my personal favorite dreams… my own Restaurant!

But honestly, I don’t know what I enjoy doing for a living now! Been doing the same work and hitting the same grind since so many years now that this industry looks like a pool of quicksand and I would give anything to step away from it and do something where I could use my brain’s creative sides a little bit… off late I have actually started feeling extinct when I look and talk to some of the ‘youngsters’ who manage to wiggle some spare time out of their schedules and still pursue a hobby or do something interesting!

Even the books now look at me from the bookshelf like long forgotten friends who try to strike up a chord of knowingness but I just can’t recollect where I met them last.

I was told once when I was very young and then had the same thing reiterated and burnt in my brain for so many times by personal experiences and hearing others’ stories…

NEVER LOSE FAITH!

If you are a good person, good things will happen to you… if not now, maybe when you are ready for them… wait is the best thing that will work…

Hoping for the best!

INSHALLAH

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Long Space

There has been an absolutely huge gap between my last post and this one…

There have been too many reasons; if I can try and remember a few of those!

The main reason, I was getting bugged with my job and had to get a change in my life, so one fine day I put my resignation on my boss’ table and walked away… just like that! Had no back up plans thought but just had to get away from all that I was going through.

After that I rode with RedEye around Karnataka for a while, stayed at home and watched lots and lots of TV and basically recuperated my broken self.

Joined the rival company in January and started working with them… got moved to Bournemouth (UK) for a project and writing this post from the UK…


Things have been so different in all these months of silence! I’ve experienced a rollercoaster of emotions in the last 3-4 months… feeling of restlessness, helplessness, hopeless, tired, low, heady, stressed, fear of rejection, feeling unhealthy, and from that to bliss, joy, smiles, belonging, reason to live, elation, peace, feeling wanted, rediscovering the self-respect.

Well, I am back and hopefully I am here to stay :)

Will surely try to stay connected now…

Cheers! And Hello World…

Monday, October 20, 2008

K Gudi - Weekend Ride

There are times when you are just bugged of your mundane week and pray for a decent weekend when you can just escape the rigmarole, even if only for a couple days or a few hours you want to just break free.

This Saturday thankfully was one of those weekends. The wifey had a day off from hercollege and we actually had the complete 2 days to ourselves. Two full days to do whatever we want to!

Planning was pretty prompt, a few calls made on Thursday and confirmations done onFriday; we were all set for a nice day trip to BR Hills  a nice patch of the wildlife sanctuary not too far from Bangalore. Since it was a day trip, there was not much packing to be done, the tank bag was stuffed with spares, some basic food and only one set of clothes (in case of any emergency) we decided that wed roll out by 5:30 am and had thought that would be back latest by 8pm in the worst case scenario.

Come Saturday morning, we left around 6am, the way to the Mysore highway was all dug up from my locality till the highway and we took around 10 different diversions before actually reaching the highway at 6:30 (thanks BBMP for screwing up my timinghere) once on the highway RedEye growled for speed and I promptly obliged her to pickup some thanks to the free-flow goldie exhaust and the bigger carb added with a K&N air-filter. We were cruising around over 100kph without even realizing.

Off late (after the Coorg ride) my lovely co-rider has actually improved her endurance levels on the road and doesn’t flitch till around 70kms of nonstop riding. Our first pitstop was the Maddur tiffany’s for their idli and filter coffee.

The handicraft store there was already open at 7:25 and we decided to check it out just for kicks recently I had noticed a website online that specialized in something called the Bead Rider the idea was very simple put a layer of beads bound together in a mat between your butt and the bikes seat and see the difference. I saw a very crude version of similar beaded mat for a very cheap rate and decided to pick it up and experience if it actually makes a difference. From there we started towards Mysore; took the ring Road at Mysore towards Chamrajanagar and then managed to take a wrong turn (I know I am blessed with being geographically challenged.) and suddenly noticed that the milestone saying BR Hills 28 Kilometers turn into BR Hills 96kms. (Double whammy!) The sky was cloudy and the morning was pleasant so I was not complaining, strangely the wifey was also not complaining!

The roads led us back to Malavalli from there to Kollegal and then some really bad roads took us to Yellandur (this is the last town before entering the sanctuary) at the check post of the sanctuary I noticed that we had clocked over 250kms for a usually 180km journey! And we hadn’t taken any butt breaks till now

Upon entering the sanctuary the roads amazingly changed into a buttery smooth well tarred blacktop narrow road. The twisties were just amazingly mouthwatering and the climb up was just exhilarating… imagine riding through a lush green thick forest on an amazing smooth road and the only sound you hear is the thump of your beast and the blood pumping into your brain.

We continued on from the BR Hills temple towards K Gudi  our most favorite joint destination of all till now, along the twisties and I suddenly noticed to my horror that on the tight twisties I couldn’t somehow manage to turn right! Gosh this is deadly, you lean with your bike completely and instead of turning, the bike keeps going straight into the steep fall and you start to panic after bravely managing a few of these right banks (without the co rider know about it) I finally gave into once of the corners where the front tire just refused to turn and I almost crashed into the trench below I somehow managed to brake in time and the got back some balance and composure. The wife noticed this particular turn and asked what was wrong, why wasI riding straight into the trench I made up some vague story about rider fatigue, fed some crap and carried on only slower.

Reached K Gudi at 11:25; met our dear friend Nahar there and talked with him for a while in the next 15 minutes he convinced us that since we don’t have any special plans for Sunday we should stay back at the wilderness camp and arranged for a room for us so by noon we had stowed our tank-bag and riding jackets into theroom and emerged into the camp as if we have been permanent residents of the place.

Had some sumptuous lunch and retired to rest for an hour. In the early evening we were introduced to the new (well, actually 10 month old) naturalist Narayan at K Gudi. He took us for a jeep safari into the jungle our jeep was shared with an old Swedish gent and 2 south Indian couples (guess they come for some real junglee time) the old gent was pretty reserved and kept to himself all through the safari and talked only with Narayan couple times in the next 2 hours. The two couples on the other hand were the typical yuppies that I hate to interact with and thankfully kept to them-selves talking in Tamil or Kannada or whatever they talked in behaving like a bunch ofjuvenile retards.

Halfway through the safari, we got a radio message from the other jeep that they had spotted a leopard and informed us on the exact coordinates to the location. Narayan like a pro rally driver drove the jeep through some unbelievable terrain and in less than 7 minutes we were at the rendezvous point with the other jeep oohing and aahing atthe amazing beauty of a leopard just a few hundred meters away from where we were.

The juvenile retard group in spite of several reminders and reprimands for maintainingsilence couldn’t contain their excitement and behaved in such a disgusting manner that for a while I actually felt like beating then up and feeding them to the leopard Iguess the leopard read my thoughts and scooted the scene in a while probably fearing the idea of eating meat made out of only rasam rice and curd rice ugh!

After that we continued our safari. Spotted some spotted deer, some Sambar (not the one you eat but the one people hunt) and a few very pretty birds but I was not interested in this any more two main reasons, I was already content of looking at a wild cat in the wild for the first time in my life and also because the juvenile retards were now acting as if they were on an African safari and were hanging almost out of the jeep while pushing their bums into our heads and groping each other (maybe while thinking of the orgy they will have later on in the night)

After going back to the camp had some amazing onion pakoras and saw a documentary on a gang of macaques based out of a town in Tamil Nadu. Sitting around the campfire later Nahar and we discussed about his future plans of moving to the land down under and studying for his PHD made vague plans of doing a vacation together sometime in the future in Gujarat covering all the wildlife sanctuaries and the Rann of Kutch.

Had a nice dinner and slept in the royal bed of the maharajas royal bungalowwoke up at 7am just to realize that the morning safari had already left and we missed it only by 20minutes boohoo

Ate breakfast, and packed our tank bag, started planning on a proper route to go back to Blore the previous evening Nahar had already told us about some temple at Somnathapura which falls on the way to Bangy; so were thinking if we want to do it or go straight home.

Narayan came at 8:30 with the news that he spotted a sloth bear and the wife was literally in tears shes been raving about spotting one since the first time we landed at K Gudi for our honeymoon. Narayan promised her that hell keep a bear ready next time we come again. Said our goodbyes and left. Halfway through the twisties Iconfessed about my inability of banking right on the twisties to the wifey and rode down the ghats at a very slow speed the wifey was exceptionally helpful and supportive during the ghat section and once we got out of the sanctuary we turned towards Yellandur and then to the onward journey to Bangalore.

Just entering in Yellandur we realized that the state government was not content by digging up all the roads in Bangalore so they had actually come all the way to these small villages and dug up all the roads and highways here as well! Saw a bus trying to take a tight turn in less than 6feet radius, dodged the buss and rolled off towards Malavalli. The roads now turned from good to bad and bad to worse and then just stopped to exist! It was more like doing an off-road stint with a pillion on the Bull and poor RedEye was grumbling and screeching at every pothole and every ditch. But she bravely carried on.

It took us more than two and a half hours for us to cover around 70 kilometers! My nerves by now had completely frayed and I was grumbling and bitching at every SOB driver on the road.

Finally some smooth roads shown and they brought all the maniacs drivers and riders of India along with them people not understanding the light signals, the hand signals or even the abusive curses that I screamed inside my helmet. The return was generally uneventful and we reached home around 2:30 in the afternoon. Had a quick shower and then both of us sat and brooded about being back in this godforsaken city.

Now we are waiting for 17th November when we go back to K Gudi along with my parents and my older sister

Till then, I just sit and wait and hope and pray

Cheers!