Wednesday, April 29, 2009

ain't no sunshine when she is gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
anytime she goes away.

once again the annual ‘distancing of selves’ happened yesterday when I saw off my sweet wifey… she went away to her parents’ for a month and it actually hurt seeing her go! Maybe coz I had just returned from my two month long ‘stint’ in the UK.

A lot of smart and experienced people have told me, the distancing of selves in a close relationship is very important for both the people involved to better understand and appreciate each other along with knowing your own self.

Hmm, so what more do I need to know about me that I didn’t catch in the past almost 30years? Did I accidentally or intentionally stop talking to myself? Did I cease diving inside my head and getting lost into my thoughts? Humph, maybe…

Thankfully, this time around the not so new job in the new company and the transition of the processes is taking up so much of my conscious time that I hardly notice or acknowledge the passing hours, days and now weeks… since everyone who still has a job cribs and complains about the dwindling market conditions and the uncertainty of the job market globally, I’ve decided that I am not going to join the crib gang or take any stupid hasty decision like quitting my last job on a day’s notice…

This time I will hopefully take it easy, try and manage two different teams… though I am getting methodically drawn and quartered in a very gradual process at the office by my bumbling team of newbies and some really rusted oldies :-) I like it in here since it is still new…

Thanks that the wifey has decided to go away for a month so that I can invest this time in the office and update blogs like these at an ungodly hour of midnight (especially when my day started at 10 in the morning) I do miss her…

I think about her almost all the time… just when I wakeup, thinking that she looks pretty when we wakeup together and smile at each other thanking god for one more day of togetherness and love…

While having my breakfast I wonder if she would’ve had eaten or not?!! Wondering if she will be taking her vitamins…

During the tough times at work when I realize that she will not be waiting for me when I go back home all tired and battered in the evening…

During the long and mindlessly dragging meetings I happily slide in my day dreams about us…

Dreaming about her in my sleep and then the whole cycle starts again the next morning as soon as I wake up :-)

This year I will not complain, crib, or stay cross at my wifey going away… instead, I am going to cherish, relish and treasure this amazingly special relationship that I have with one of the most wonderful souls on this planet.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

wishful thinking?!!

From 14 hour workdays to 12 hour and then again to the same 14hour day grind! Sometimes a tired mind would venture to wander a bit and wonder, “is this all really worth it”?

Titles change, people change, surroundings change and even the goddamned ‘work culture’ changes! But you realize that the grind is still as tiring as always and the politics are as murky as every…

Someone asked me a few weekends ago… LJ what would be your dream job? Honestly I was caught unprepared and I started fumbling with my answer; I started by saying how I always loved writing poetry and prose, then moved on my love towards music and thinking about ‘RJ’ing or ‘VJ’ing… for a while I also talked about becoming an international travel show host! (Anybody out there listening???) then settled to one of my personal favorite dreams… my own Restaurant!

But honestly, I don’t know what I enjoy doing for a living now! Been doing the same work and hitting the same grind since so many years now that this industry looks like a pool of quicksand and I would give anything to step away from it and do something where I could use my brain’s creative sides a little bit… off late I have actually started feeling extinct when I look and talk to some of the ‘youngsters’ who manage to wiggle some spare time out of their schedules and still pursue a hobby or do something interesting!

Even the books now look at me from the bookshelf like long forgotten friends who try to strike up a chord of knowingness but I just can’t recollect where I met them last.

I was told once when I was very young and then had the same thing reiterated and burnt in my brain for so many times by personal experiences and hearing others’ stories…

NEVER LOSE FAITH!

If you are a good person, good things will happen to you… if not now, maybe when you are ready for them… wait is the best thing that will work…

Hoping for the best!

INSHALLAH